Just Breathe - Brick
by BrickylLove
Summary: Beth Greene and Rick Grimes. Slightly AU due to some plot changes. A romance. Rated M for future possibilities.
1. Chapter 1

The first time Beth seemed to flirt with him, Rick brushed the moment off as his imagination. Or that she was young, feeling a touch of hero worship, and not seriously fantasizing about an old man, which was how Rick viewed himself these days.

Normally if Beth got up before him, she'd stand outside his cell, and softly call his name before coming in to get Judy. On that first morning he suspected her of flirting, he'd been so exhausted, haunted by Lori torturing his dreams with all the things left unsaid, that he hadn't responded to her call. He'd cried during the night, if his tight, burning eyes were any indication, and exhaustion weighed heavily on his shoulders, the tight muscles of his neck aching with stiffness.

Her sweet voice came first, and as he laid there, it seemed like her song was for him, coiling into the aching chambers of his heart.

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe..."

For a moment he did just that, just breathed, until his eyes met Beth's shapely little bottom, bent over Judy's crib. A part of his mind, the part south that was flooded with the morning blood of his hard-on, briefly wished that was his bottom to take, and he could pull her into bed with him and set loose the demons eating at his mind by pounding into soft, hot flesh. Immediately creeped out by himself, this was everyone's sweet Beth whose bottom he was fantasizing about after all, he scrubbed his eyes with his fists and shoved the thoughts from his mind.

He stood, "Good morning, Beth."

"Good morning, Rick," her bright smile was a nice thing to see at the start of the day and he smiled back at her, then reached out to take Judy from her arms. The baby gurgled up at him, and Rick kissed the soft skin of her forehead.

"Sweet baby Judy," he crooned, rocking her.

"Here," Beth urged, holding out a fresh bottle, and soon Judy was slurping away. The greedy sound made Rick and Beth grin at one another, and for a moment, Rick felt a connection with Beth that he'd only ever felt with Lori, the bond of shared parenthood.

Awkwardly, he turned from Beth, and rolled his stiff neck, dashing the thoughts away. Sure, it made sense he'd see Beth as Judith's mom, but she wasn't, Judy's mom was dead, and all that Rick had left were the words he'd never said.

When Beth's small fingers began the work at the muscles of his neck, Rick wanted to protest, but it felt so damn good as she firmly worked away the knots and aches that he didn't say a word. Standing there holding Judy and feeling the stress disappear was one of the best moments Rick had had in quite a while.

He was in a trance until the sound of Judy sucking air echoed loudly in the cell. Beth's fingers dropped away and they both laughed again as the baby burped loudly and began babbling.

As he turned to hand the baby to Beth, the young woman rested a hand on his bicep, "You're a good father, Rick," as her fingertips traced the muscle for a second before turning to leave the cell.

At the door, she spun back, blond ponytail swinging, "You should show your arms more," and then she was gone, though he could hear her soft voice singing to Judith as she walked away.

Rick glanced down at his arms, then dismissed her words. He had a farm to tend.

...

It became a daily, morning routine, Beth would come in to his cell, sing some bit of a song, always something meaningful to Rick, change Judy's diaper, and then greet Rick good morning. As he fed Judith, Beth's small fingers would work the stiffness from his neck or the tops of his shoulders, and as she left him, she'd always stop at the doorway. Some mornings she'd just run her eyes over him, smile and exit quietly, but others she would share a quote like, "This too shall pass" or "It's always darkest before the dawn".

One morning she'd told him, "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em," and he knew she was referring to the council meeting the day before, when everyone had pressured him to become the leader again.

Some mornings, though, he was sure her words were flirtatious, "I like the way your hair is curling now" or "Some men should always smile". Other than her heavenly massages while he fed Judith, she was never exactly forward with him, so he didn't think about it too much.

The dreams of Lori stopped eventually, and though he might not have acknowledged it to himself, he often went to sleep with a small smile on his face, knowing morning would soon come.

Judy was their shared delight, and throughout the day, Rick would occasionally seek out Beth to have a moment with his daughter. Judith was growing so quickly, and such a cheerful baby, that Rick loved those moments listening to her babble, rocking her in his arms, or kissing the baby's soft face.

One afternoon when Beth walked down to the garden holding Judy, Rick had another of those shared parenthood connection moments, and his eyes caressed Beth in a way he rarely allowed himself to look at her.

Hershel, who was digging in the dirt beside Rick, spoke quietly, "I always knew Bethie would be a wonderful mother."

"She's amazing," Rick replied before meeting the older man's knowing gaze, "I mean, she's great with Judy."

"She's really too young to be a mother," Hershel's thoughtful expression hardened slightly, "or anything else to a man."

Rick held those wise eyes for a moment, nodded briskly, and stuck his shovel deep into the ground. Hershel had no reason to worry. Rick would never cross that line.

He stopped seeking Beth out during the day and banished any thought of her from his mind. That was never happening, she may be Judy's other parent, but that's all she could ever be to Rick.

...

But the mornings were different. In the mornings the two of them were cocooned in their own little world, where they played some pretend game of house, where he forgot about everything but her sweet smile, their shared love of Judy, and the warmth of their morning routine.

Rick was often awake when she entered, laying on his bunk waiting for her, and it was one of these mornings when he totally screwed up their secret world.

She went straight to Judy, as usual, awakening the baby with a song,

"And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now"

Rick knew she sang for him, often old songs he'd never heard about hard living, faith in God, or strong men. This morning, he felt her words keenly, and when she handed Judith to him, he asked her to sing the rest. As normal, he turned his back to her as she began her massage, and Judy slurped away at her bottle.

"And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"

"Again," he requested, and Beth started the song over, "and I'd give up forever to touch you..." her words were a mystery that wrapped around Rick's chest, and her fingers were no longer massaging. Beth Greene was caressing him and Rick simply stood there and let her.

When Rick went to burp Judy, the baby instantly closed her eyes and went back to sleep, like somehow the baby gave them this moment, this pregnant moment where they'd stepped over an imaginary line. Rick laid Judy back in her crib, and as he straightened, Beth's beautiful blue eyes were full of hope. As she twined her arms around his neck and pressed her slight frame to the front of his body, Rick's entire universe seemed to click in place. He bent his head, and when their lips met, both of them sighed. The air around them was flush with promise as their lips met and clung, their tongues gently dancing. Over and over he kissed her, becoming more and more demanding. Passion and need tugged at Rick and his hands stroked downward, shaping her small breasts in his palms, and rubbing soft circles over her nipples with his thumbs.

She gasped and put a hand on his chest, "Slow down, I've never done anything like this before."

Rick pulled away from her, breathing hard, and the soft, loving innocence in her eyes, eyes so like her father's, had Rick pulling her arms from his neck and stepping away.

"Don't come in here again, Beth. Don't ever touch me again."

"Rick, I don't understand! I just wanted you to slow down, I want this, I want you."

"Well, I don't want it."

She drew back as if slapped, tears pouring down her face, "You don't mean that."

"I do mean it. I should be like a father to you, not... not some old man chasing after your innocence. I'm sorry, I never should have let that happen. Just go, please."

And she did, and the echo of her running footsteps pounded in his mind long after he could no longer hear her. He hated himself, hated that he'd hurt her, but it was for the best. There was nothing between him and Beth Greene and there never would be. He scrubbed a hand at his beard, miserable, remembering the hurt look on her face.

Judy gurgled, pulled up at the bar of her crib, looking around the cell, "Mama? Mama?"

Well, there'd always be Judith between them.


	2. Chapter 2

So many things happened over the next months that it was easy to put that nonsense with Beth from his head, or so Rick told repeatedly himself. Carl was assigned Judith's morning care and Carl would take the baby to Beth afterwards. Rick claimed it was for bonding, and he was proud to see how wonderful Carl was with his baby sister, but the real reason was Rick wanted the young woman nowhere near his cell, nowhere near him.

Secretly, deep in his heart, it hurt that she no longer met his eyes, and her smile, when he caught a glimpse of it, was always directed at other people. The warmth she'd added to his life was normally only missed in the dark of the night, when his duties weren't distracting him, but nighttime misery had been his companion for so long that it was easy to ignore in the light of day. There was always so much for him to do, and if she crept in his mind while tending the garden, he was good at shoving her away.

Beth was still Judith's mother, or mama, as Judith shouted at every opportunity, but their interactions with the baby were always separate, silent handoffs, eyes cast in other directions. Sometimes the baby seemed to sense her "parents" separateness, and clung to one while the other tried to take her. When with Rick, Judith constantly asked about her mama, and sometimes it drove Rick nuts. Carl stepped up more and more, often keeping his baby sister for hours in the afternoon, and Beth had started weapons training with any one who would teach her.

Rick saw her with Daryl more than he was comfortable with, but he knew Daryl was a no nonsense teacher who'd teach Beth right, so he ignored the tugs of jealousy that he felt whenever he watched the pair of them, especially when Daryl got close to her slim frame to adjust her grip or stance. She also worked with her sister a lot, Maggie was teaching Beth hand to hand combat, and Rick could see muscles forming in Beth's arms, and a new strength in her walk.

When the walkers began massing at the fence, each day bringing more of the dead than the day before, Rick often saw Beth along the fence line, stabbing walker skulls with her little knife. Sometimes they worked silently, side by side, the groans of walkers and slashing of skulls the only sound between them. It was the one and only time he allowed himself to stand close to her, for protection, he told himself. And if on occasion, their eyes met, and his heart beat harder, he didn't admit it to himself.

If it hurt, the loss of their closeness, neither let it show in front of the others, so Rick was surprised when Hershel asked him to take a stroll one night after dinner.

"Beth's really been learning a lot of new skills. I'm glad because she'll need them in this world," Hershel told him as they walked along the fence line. Everyone had worked hard clearing walkers that day, so only a few wailed as they saw the men.

Rick nodded, "I'm glad she's learning, too."

"You know, when I started dating my second wife, I was 15 years older than her and her father threatened to kill me. Actually tried once, but my wife got between my chest and his shotgun."

Rick glanced curiously at Hershel, "I bet."

"Yeah, but I loved her. I was going to have her no matter what. If it took a bullet through the chest, so be it."

Rick nodded, "Love will do that to a man."

"Or it can make a man stupid."

Rick nodded again and they walked in silence for a while.

"My Beth is the kindest soul I've ever come across. Kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and in this world, a soul like hers is needed more than ever," Hershel said, and stopped walking.

Rick backed up to him, wondering where the older man was going with this speech. Beth was the one subject he really didn't want to discuss, but Hershel obviously had some point he was trying to make.

"The man who wins Beth's love will have the world and needs to be willing to take a bullet in the chest, if necessary," in the moonlight, Hershel's eyes stared hard at Rick.

"I'm not after your daughter, Hershel."

"I know. I know you're an honorable man and you stepped back, both because of her age and because of your respect for me. And I appreciate that."

Rick just nodded. His mind briefly flashed to that morning in his cell, and the remembered taste of Beth tickled his senses before he squashed the thought.

"But she's obviously already in this, and due to her feelings, I'm going to tell you that you have my blessing."

Shocked, Rick cocked his head, "It's not like that, Hershel, I promise you."

"Maybe it is or maybe it isn't. But you heard what I had to say," Hershel turned back to the prison and Rick followed at a short distance, his ears ringing with Hershel's words.

_Doesn't matter_, he thought,_ I'm still an old man, she's still an innocent. Doesn't matter_.

As they walked back into the crowded dining area, Rick saw Beth stand, pick up a laughing Judith, and settle the little girl on a slender hip. She looked expectantly between Rick and her father. _Damn_, Rick thought, _she told him to talk to me_. He held the heat of her eyes for a moment, and let his blue gaze become a glare.

_I don't want you, and I'm sorry_, he lied with his eyes, and then turned to Carl, "Be sure to bring your baby sister to me in a bit."


	3. Chapter 3

Beth had been so hopeful. For two solid weeks she'd worked on her father, weakening his every argument. She was determined and relentless when she wanted something, and Beth Greene wanted Rick Grimes with every fiber of her being.

Everything about the man twisted her inside out. Made her wish and dream and scribble song lyrics in her journal. Made her forget about the horrors of the apocalypse and the losses she'd suffered. Made her feel more alive than ever before in her life.

From the first moment she'd met Rick, his selfless love of his son had stirred her heart. What had began as a crush only grew over the next two years. Never had she imagined anything would come of those feelings until those early mornings in his cell. When he'd finally seen her, Beth. Finally looked deep into her eyes and saw _her_.

She wondered if he realized how his eyes followed her even now. She doubted he did, he was so focused, so in control. So willing to let go of the feelings she knew she had stirred inside of him. But, she felt his eyes on her all the time, even when she didn't have their daughter, and especially when she trained. His eyes gave her the incentive she needed to learn each lesson the first time.

Though truthfully, Beth didn't need his approval, not in this area of her life. Both Maggie and Daryl had expressed, in different ways, pride at her progress, and Beth knew she was getting stronger, mastering new skills, and learning how to protect herself and those she loved. She was determined to do this for herself, but also because she knew Rick needed a worthy woman by his side, and that woman would be Beth.

This separation, this misery he'd imposed on them, had continued for close to three months now, and the knowledge that he missed her, even if he'd never admit it, had started to burn a hole of frustration inside of her. When she caught him looking at her, his face was always devoid of expression, but those eyes told a different story. Brooding, full of regret, and every once in a while, full of heat.

Back before the incident, during those early morning meetings, amusement and happiness had often crinkled the corners his eyes and bathed her in a vivid blue fixation.

Sometimes it was as though the three of them truly were a family, the way their eyes would meet in amusement over some sweetness of Judith's, the pride they would share as she reached another milestone. When the two of them loved and marveled over Judith, the bond was a tangible thing that lounged in the air between them, an undeniable connection. It was emotional, and Beth savored it, had thought it unbreakable.

But the heat had been different. The heat was more of a gradual build over their mornings together. As he would take Judith's bottle, turn and allow Beth's hands to soothe the muscles of his neck and shoulders, each day his eyes steadily grew hotter. They began to glow, began to burn with something more. His desire became a burning press against her flesh. And she knew he wanted to touch her. To make her his. The heat wanted her to throw herself at him, feel some of the pleasure she nightly gave herself. She knew it would be a thousand times more intense with him.

Her morning songs were chosen with care. Every night she wrote and planned in her journal, the song she'd sing, the meaning she wanted to share about how amazing she found him, so strong, such a good father. A fair and just leader. So incredibly good looking. She thought and planned her hidden messages with painstaking care.

Her journal also contained a detailed series of seductions. The first time she'd touched him in a planned fashion, she'd caressed his bicep. The look in his eyes, that flash of heat, had encouraged her to try her flirtatious line, "You should show your arms more."

Afterwards she'd worried for the 2 hours until she'd next seen him, but he just sent her a warm smile and walked down to the garden. She could spend hours just watching him walk. God, did she ever love to watch the man walk.

Day after day, she'd worked on him, song after song, flirtation after flirtation. And then the day came when the heat hadn't dimmed as Judy finished her bottle, when it had shown brighter than ever before and she had risked everything.

When she twined her arms around Rick's neck and pressed against the heated length of his body, her senses had been overwhelmed. His kiss, the perfection of their lips and tongues intertwining, had made her dizzy, and the pleasure flooding her body had her grasping at his neck for balance. When his kiss had changed, become harder and deeper, and his hands had cupped her breasts, she asked him to slow down because she was overwhelmed by the feelings, not fear or some virgin sensibilities. She thought she might come simply from his thumbs slowly circling of her nipples.

But Rick hadn't understood that. Rick, whose driving focus seemed her age and inexperience, had shoved her away. She'd thought her father was Rick's major block, but she should have known better. Rick was his own block. In his heart, she knew Rick thought he didn't deserve her, and it wasn't just her age.

Journal in hand, she scribbled furiously over the pages. Project Rick was at hand. It was time to hit the man with every idea she had. No more holding back. No more feeling embarrassed. And definitely no more succumbing to intimidation. Rick Grimes would be hers, even if he didn't know it just yet.

As her daddy had told her last night, when he came to kiss her goodnight, Beth was in for the fight of her life.


	4. Chapter 4

"Judith's really sick, dad," out of breath from his sprint down to the garden, Carl sounded really worried.

"Babies get sick, Carl, she'll be fine," Rick told him, placing a hand on Carl's shoulder, glancing up at the setting sun, bemoaning the fact that he was about to lose daylight, and head back into his nightly misery.

"That's what Beth said, this morning, and again at lunch, but now she's scared too. And other people are sick. Not just Judy."

Tossing down his shovel, Rick quickly pulled off his gloves, "What does Hershel say?"

"He's sick too. I think he got sick first 'cause he didn't come down to breakfast."

He and Carl walked briskly back, "What are their symptoms?"

"First they were just coughing. Coughing up blood now."

Panic flashed through Rick and then they were running. As they entered the dining area, the lack of people milling around told showed him the seriousness of whatever illness this was.

"How many?" He asked Carl.

"About 20, I'd say, maybe more."

"Where's Judy and Beth?"

"Beth's cell," and then the two of them were running through the cell block, the sounds of harsh coughing seemingly coming from everywhere.

The bright and colorful interior of Beth's cell was easy to find, glowing at the end of the hallway. When Rick rounded the corner and met Beth's eyes, her face told him all he needed to know about Judy's condition.

"I'm keeping her upright until she starts coughing. She's coughing blood, Rick, if she coughs, hold her to her side and clean out her mouth," and in her arms, Judith wheezed, her tiny face pale. When her eyes blinked open, red-rimmed and blood shot, Rick lost his breath.

"Da da," she whimpered, and helplessness clutched his chest as he took her from Beth's arms. The front of Beth's shirt was dotted with blood splatters.

"I need to talk to my dad, I'll be right back," Beth told them, and was gone.

Judy coughed, and her entire little body spasmed. Rick turned the baby, rubbed circles on her back, and as instructed by Beth, cleaned her mouth with a rag Carl handed him.

"She's gonna be okay, right dad?" Carl asked, and Rick nodded, but honestly had no idea. The blood on the cloth brought tears to his eyes, and he clutched Judith to his chest, waiting for Beth to return.

Then she was back, her words rushing over each other, "Maggie's coughing, too, but it just started, so she's gonna watch Judith. Dad wants me to gather a plant from the woods and make a broth for the sick. Rick, grab a flashlight and meet me by the gates."

Rick kissed the top of Judith's head and handed her to Beth, and took off for flashlights.

...

Dusk had settled, and as Carl ran down the fence line distracting the walkers, Beth and Rick slipped out the gate.

They didn't speak, and as a team, Rick shone the flashlight wherever she pointed, as Beth picked leaves and stuffed them in a bag. At one point, when she dug her hand into some thick foliage, a previously hidden, legless walker grabbed at her arm, and before Rick could move, Beth calmly kicked in its head, her small boot crushing its skull.

Despite the situation, Rick was impressed, and as she turned to him, gesturing back at the prison, they quickly made their way back, Rick stabbing 3 walkers in the head as Beth took out 2 others with her knife. Carl let them back in the gate and they sprinted toward the prison.

Getting Judith from a coughing Maggie, the baby again miserably whispered, "Da da," as Rick's heart clinched.

"Beth's boiling some leaves Hershel wants everyone to drink," Rick told her and Maggie nodded. Glenn was coughing too, and Maggie was crying.

He turned to leave, to go back to Beth's cell when Maggie grabbed his arm, "Make her take care of herself, too. She's been dealing with this all day."

He nodded, and sent Carl to check on Beth's progress. For now, Judith fell asleep, and the soft wheeze of her breath tightened his chest as they entered Beth's cell.

Rick was still filthy from the garden, from all the work of his day, so he avoided her bunk and sat on a hard chair, glancing around at the cheerful little space Beth had created. Her cell looked more like a dorm room than housing for prisoners, and the thought reminded him of all the things Beth would never experience, and all the things Carl and Judith would lose out on too. His eyes latched on a colorful piece of paper on the opposite wall. Barely making out his name, curiosity had him standing and walking over, Judy still wheezing against chest.

Up close, it was harder to make out the letters of his name because each letter had been drawn in amazing detail, swirls and loops and other shapes. An intricate border squared off his name, and he suddenly grinned. Beth had bordered RICK repetitively with the word IDIOT.

Hearing her boots striking the concrete, he backed away so as not to embarrass her.

She handed him a bottle, a yellowish liquid inside, and held a giant pitcher of the stuff in her other hand, "Get her to drink that, I don't care how. Force her, if necessary. I'm handing this out," her eyes traced Judy's face, and as she leaned in to kiss the baby's forehead, Rick brushed his lips across her temple, and as she backed away, her fingertips touched where his lips had.

"She'll be okay," Rick told her, and she'd nodded briskly, and off she went.

...

Hershel suggested a distant veterinary college that may still have antibiotics available, and around midnight, Rick, Daryl, Tyreese left on the run.

Beth firmly tied Judith to her chest, and worked tirelessly through the night, administering the broth to family and friends alike. She wiped faces, held hands, whispered words of encouragement, and repeatedly checked on her patients. Only a few remained untouched by the illness and Beth commandeered them as nurses. Carl stayed close, except when she sent him off on errands, and she was relieved when he didn't develop any symptoms.

Patrick, one of the Woodbury kids, died during the night, but Beth found his stumbling corpse before he could attack anyone. After that, she began closing all cell doors behind her.

The next morning, after spending a full day nursing the ill, Beth got a second wind when she saw the men return, and as Bob made needles, she let Rick untie Judith and take the baby. The baby's mouth was raw, from all the times Beth had force fed the broth to her, and she saw Rick's tear up at the sight. Judy screamed when Beth gave her the shot, and when Beth lifted her own blood shot eyes to Rick's, she vaguely appreciated how concerned he looked, not just for Judy, but for her too.

"Beth, you've got to get some rest," but she'd only nodded, gathered syringes, and returned to the cell block.

...

In Rick's cell, he laid the now sleeping Judith in her crib, pulling up a chair beside her.

"She won't stop, dad, hasn't stopped all night. I've never seen anything like her," Carl said, his voice full of admiration for Beth.

"You sit with Judy, and I'll try to make her get some rest."

"You should stop pushing her away," Carl added, and when Rick turned to him, eyes wide, "yeah, I know she's young for you, but she's already Judy's mom. And she's amazing."

Rick cocked his head, totally unaware that Carl had noticed any of the byplay between him and Beth.

"I'm serious, dad, if I were 10 years older, you'd be no competition, but for some reason, she seems to want you. And I'm good with it. She's a good woman."

"We'll see," was all Rick said, but he ruffled Carl's long hair, and pulled the boy next to him for a quick hug.

It took a while to find Beth, mainly because everywhere he checked seemed full of people needing to sing her praises, and urging him to make her rest. People did seem to feel better, and the harsh sound of coughing no longer echoed through the cell block.

He finally found her in Lizzie and Mika's cell, bathing Lizzie's forehead with a wet rag, singing something softly about 99 red balloons.

"Beth, come on, you need some rest," he said, and though her song paused briefly, she ignored him, dipping the rag into a bowl of water, wringing it out, and then wiping Lizzie's face again.

"99 dreams I have had in every one a red balloon

It's all over and I'm standin' pretty

In this dust that was a city

If I could find a souvenir, just to prove the world was here

And here is a red balloon, I think of you and let it go"

As she sang the last line, she turned and held Rick's eyes, but he saw her sway slightly. _Fuck it,_ he thought, striding forward and sweeping her into his arms. She barely weighed a thing, and he tucked her head beneath his chin and left the room.

By the time he reached her cell, and gently laid her on the soft covers of her bunk, she was sound asleep. He knelt beside her for a moment, his palm to her cheek. _Maybe one day, Beth_, he thought, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He tugged the covers over her, and paused at the doorway, his eyes again drawn to the drawing of his name.

"I ain't no damn red balloon," he told her sleeping form, and then left to check on Judith.


	5. Chapter 5

Beth was driving Rick nuts.

Before, even if he'd pretended to himself that he hadn't noticed, he had felt her eyes caressing him. He had the bizarre comfort of knowing she still wanted him, even if he'd told himself it would never happen. Her eyes gave him the crazy knowledge that even if he didn't want her, she still wanted him. And bizarrely, that had been enough for a while.

But now, it was almost like she had some sort of diabolical plan to torture him, and the entire prison population, even his son, functioned as her accomplices.

First was that kid Zach following her around, laughing all the time. Rick told himself it was a good thing, Zach being closer to her in age and all, but he hated it. Hated seeing their heads bent together, and hearing Beth's happy laughter. Hated the unbidden fantasy that popped up when he saw them, the one where Rick strangled the life from Zach and tossed him over the fence to a hungry pack of walkers, watching them rip the flesh from Zach's bones. Then there was the one where his knuckles rearranged Zach's pretty boy features into a bloody pulp, he was partial to that fantasy because the boy actually got to live. Instead, he forced himself to smile at the young man, to nod his head at Beth like he was happy for her.

3 days had passed since the illness swept the prison, and Rick and Beth's relationship had shifted yet again. Before Beth had most often treated him with deferential respect, an acknowledgment of their differences in age and experience. Now she boldly met his eyes, and behaved like an equal, so much so that a switch happened in Rick's mind from Beth the girl to Beth the woman. Late at night, he would lay on his bunk and fantasize about her, about waking up to that smile, running his fingers over her long blond hair, kissing her sweet lips...

Still amazed at her actions during the illness, he now regarded her with a touch of awe. This afternoon she'd walked down to the garden, a laughing Judith on her hip, and the longing that swept through him made him bite his bottom lip until he drew blood. Beth was not for him, and as she stopped where he kneeled, he gained his feet and stood a touch too close to her. A scent of honeysuckle teased his senses (he'd brought the scented lotion to her after a group came back from a run, back when they'd been living their little fantasy) and Beth gave Rick such a knowing, little smile, so full of confidence, that he'd snatched Judith from her quickly, so quickly that Judy started crying and reached back for Beth.

Rick was instantly contrite, cooing and nuzzling at Judith until the baby's happy laughter returned. He hesitated to look back at Beth, snatching the baby was the kind of thing Lori would have made him pay for doing long afterwards, with disappointed looks, put-upon sighs, and the silent treatment. Judith started humming, and he finally looked at Beth, and her huge grin made his heart seem to skip a beat.

"She's humming like her momma," he whispered and Beth's grin melted away as her eyes filled with the heat he remembered so well.

"She's gorgeous like her father," Beth said back softly, and he lost himself in her wide, blue eyes for a moment, before shaking his head sharply, handing Judith back, and effectively dismissing them as he turned to kneel in the dirt.

"Eventually you'll stop running and let me catch you," Beth promised his back before turning toward the prison. Rick watched her walk, his eyes caressing her tiny frame, the mother of his child, but not his. It contradicted what should be, but it was what it was.

As the last flip of her blond ponytail disappeared, Rick felt the hard press of eyes on him. Daryl stood about ten feet away, chewing on his thumbnail, his gaze knowing, too.

"Why you fighting that, Rick?"

Daryl's best friend status was the only thing that stopped Rick from telling him to mind his own business. Rick swallowed hard and set back on his heels, "I don't know anymore. Just seems like the right thing, you know."

At Daryl's quirked eyebrow, he continued, "Okay, maybe she has a crush on me now, but what about 5 years from now? I'll always be so much older than her."

The archer grunted and looked out across the yard to the small group of moaning walkers gathered at the fence line, "Hmm. 5 years. Somebody promised you you'll be alive then?"

Rick tugged at the weeds, ignoring Daryl's gaze, but not his point.

"The way I see it is you could be dead tomorrow and then what? She spends the rest of her life pining for you. Or vice versa?" After dropping that little bomb, Daryl headed to the fence, and Rick dug back into the garden, Daryl's words ringing in his ears.

Maggie and Glenn worked on him too, little comments here and there, as did Carol and even Carl.

Carl was all about little comments, little digs, little reminders. Yesterday, after Beth brought Judy to her crib in Rick's cell, "Dad, seems if a woman is old enough to be a mother, she's also old enough to be a wife right?"

And Hershel, damn the man, always talking about the age difference between him and his second wife, or how important love and normalcy were in this new world.

Rick wanted to strangle the lot of them after he'd finally made it through dinner because it was so obvious how everyone was focused on match-making. Why the fuck was everyone so concerned with his love life?

His eyes sought out Beth, where she sat a table over, laughing at Zach. Again. Damn it all. He glared at the pair of them, imaging stalking across the room and body-slamming the boy into the floor. As wound up as he felt, it took extreme will power not to, instead he jerked up so quickly his chair fell over with a loud clang on the concrete. Beth instantly met his eyes, and even though Rick knew his expression couldn't have been attractive, she calmly held his gaze. Without a word to anyone, he stomped from the dining room and headed outside.

He knew his behavior was unacceptable, and he'd probably feel bad about it later, even embarrassed, but for right now the anger felt good coursing through his veins. He scrubbed his hands over his beard, and leaned back against the prison wall, his breath huffing in and out of his chest.

"Rick?" And there she was, the object of his torture, standing glowing in a beam of moonlight, looking so beautiful.

"Get back inside, Beth," Rick ground out between clenched teeth.

"No, I don't think so," she took several steps closer, into the shadows where Rick was, leaning next to him against the wall, "please talk to me, Rick."

"Talk!" he growled, "But that's not what I want to do," turning to her, he roughly grabbed her waist, picking her up and pressing her between the concrete and his body.

Beth instantly twined her arms around his neck, "Yes, whatever you want."

Rick palmed her butt, and ground his hips into her softness, "What if this is what I want? Up against the prison wall?"

Beth's breath came in a soft pant, "Doesn't matter where. Just touch me Rick."

Her eyes were hot, and he knew she'd let him take her up against the concrete, but seeing desire flushing her sweet, young face instantly drained away Rick's anger.

She must seen the change in his expression because just as he started to let go of the softness of her bottom, she grasped his neck tighter and hitched her legs over his hips, locking her legs around his waist, and her eyes were glaring as she leaned into his face, "You're not pushing me away this time, Rick Grimes."


End file.
